Cowboy Bob and the Grousemongrel
Copyright ©2012 by Nonno Vecchio
All Rights Reserved
Hear Nonno Vecchio tell this story
Once upon a time, there was a very interesting space-time traveler by the name of Cowboy Bob. Now, Cowboy Bob was not your typical space time traveler, no sir. He was a larger-than-life, rope wrangling, laser gun toting, space cowboy! His Space-Time Machine was actually a converted trailer that he used because he didn't want to give up the comforts of home. Oh, this was no ordinary trailer for it had been outfitted with the latest gadgetry and space–time drives available in the year 2333. Cowboy Bob could travel back and forth in time anywhere he wanted. And that's just what he did!
Cowboy Bob traveled all over the universe and all throughout time meeting new life forms and having fantastic adventures! And that's how he came to have an exciting experience on the planet Bageljuice. You see one day he was traveling along in his trailer with his space–time drives on autopilot, leaning back in his armchair sofa, sipping a nice cold sarsaparilla, when the idea struck him that he had yet to visit the constellation Orion. So he told his computer to reset his course and off he went.
Well, of course you and I are stuck here in 2012 and we're not yet aware of all the fantastic adventures there are to have out in deep space. We haven't met the different species that God created out there. But Cowboy Bob lives in the future and in the future they know that there are multiple life forms all over the universe. So it was that Cowboy Bob was not surprised when he came across the Crossroads Galaxy Diner located between our galaxy and the first galaxy of the constellation Orion. Being hungry, Cowboy Bob decided to stop in at the diner and grab a bite to eat. And it was while he was eating his dish of roast blagelspiel-on-top-glass complete with mashed tummytoes and gravy, cabhart on the cob, lily greens with rumplesnort fat, and cabhartbread, and washing it down with sweet pluckabuncha tea, that he learned of the many different planets available to tourists and explorers throughout the constellation.
Planet Bageljuice
So, once he was finished and had paid his bill, he headed on out to his trailer and set course for the nearest planet which he learned was called Bageljuice.
Now, Cowboy Bob, being the adventuresome sort, liked to stay away from big cities whenever he went traveling because they tend to get in the way of having exciting adventures. And that's just what he did this time too. As he came into the planet's atmosphere, he surveyed all he could see and headed toward the desert. He found a good spot to land between two plateaus and put his trailer down near a beautiful blue lake.
“Well!” He said to himself, “I might even be able to get in a bit of fishing.” And he proceeded to set up camp. It wasn't long after that he decided it was time for bed. It had been a very long day after all, and he was very tired. So he cleaned up his campsite, put out the fire, and headed to bed.
Now, the inhabitants of the planet Bageljuice don't tell time the same way you and I do. Not at all. They don't have a.m. and p.m. like we do, they don't have morning and night like we do, instead they have "Get up time" and "Get down time". Of course, Cowboy Bob had no way of knowing that he'd actually gone to bed during “Get up time”. All he knew was that it was dark and he had been traveling for many hours and his body needed rest. So, while he was sleeping all the inhabitants of the planet Bageljuice were stretching and yawning and preparing for the adventures of a new day.
The Grousemongrel
That included this one little creature that Bob had never seen before. In fact, none of us have ever seen it before either. Well, it had a long nose much like a rat's, a long body kinda like a worm's, the tail of a dog, its front feet looked like a chicken's, and its back feet were like a duck's. Except for its black nose and whiskers, it was orange from snout to tail. It had purple eyes, yellow fangs, and the inside of its ears was red. So, while Cowboy Bob was sleepin' nice and safe and tucked into his comfy trailer bed, this here little creature was scrabbling out of its hidy hole. Actually, “little” is a relative term. For this creature that Bob had never seen before was actually as large as a house. Still, it was small compared to the other inhabitants on the planet Bageljuice.
Anyway, this here creature was scrabbling up out of the dirt and of course it spotted Cowboy Bob's trailer. And, being the curious sort, the first thing it did once it was out of its hole was head on over in that direction. This creature, a grousemongrel as Bob later learned it was called, was a relatively harmless sort of creature but of course Bob didn't know that. The creature snuffled along sniffing the dirt and eating grubs and seeds it found on the way. Thankfully it stopped to sniff Bob's trailer rather than swallowing it whole down its huge gullet or our story would be ending right here.
“Hmm,” it thought to itself, “I wonder if this is a tasty morsel?” And it nudged the trailer with its nose to see. When nothing happened, it pushed it again and still again and still again. Well, all this rockin' and pushin' woke Cowboy Bob up. Once fully awake, he got up to see what all the commotion was. And imagine his surprise when he saw a huge giant nose and yellow fangs staring him in the face on the other side of the window!
Quick as a snake Cowboy Bob threw his space–time suit on, grabbed his hat, and his rope, and his laser blaster guns, and headed out the door. And it was a good thing too because the grousemongrel gave the trailer one good nudge and turned it on its side putting the door on the ground. If Bob had been a split second later he would've been trapped inside the trailer with no way out!
a-Ropin' and a-Ridin'
Bob quickly surveyed the situation and realized that he would be trapped on this planet forever if he didn't do something quick. So he gathered up his rope, swung it around and around his head, and let it fly in the most beautiful arc you ever did see. Up and up into the air the rope flew right on over the grousemongrel's snout. When the rope had cleared the grousemongrel's head, Bob pulled it tight around the grousemongrel's neck. And then he held on for dear life!
You see, once that there rope had drawn up tight around the creature's neck, it let out a roar of surprise, and took off like a shot with Cowboy Bob hanging on for dear life!
Well, a funnier thing you never did see, with this orange creature running as fast as it could and Cowboy Bob just a flappin' in the breeze! The faster and faster this creature ran, the flappier and flappier Cowboy Bob got. Pretty soon, he looked like your state flag on a very windy day!
Fortunately for him, Cowboy Bob had grown up on a ranch when he was a little tyke and he kept his wits about him. He tied the rope around his waist and began pulling himself toward the creature's back. Closer and closer Cowboy Bob drew as faster and faster the creature ran.
“Whew!” Bob thought himself, “this sure is a strong critter. But man, is this planet pretty!” You see, even though he was being pulled along behind this monster at a pretty good clip, Cowboy Bob still had enough wits to sightsee and take in the planet's beauty. "It's like God took a great big paint brush and just went to town!" He finished his thought on one of the upswings where he could see for miles and miles.
Finally, Bob was able to plant his boots firmly on the grousemongrel's back and draw himself up like you would on a horse. And that's when the fun began!
The grousemongrel didn't like having Bob on his back and he began shaking and snorting and bucking and rolling and doing everything he could to get this pesky little creature off his back. Cowboy Bob held on for dear life!
When the grousemongrel rolled, Bob rolled with it tucking himself into a fold on the grousemongrel's back so he wouldn't be crushed. When the grousemongrel bucked, Bob squeezed his legs together and pulled tight on the rope so he wouldn't fly off. When the grousemongrel dived into the lake, Bob activated his hat's Breath-O-Rometer so he had plenty of air. When the creature slinked into a hidy hole, Bob slinked with it, ducking his head now and again to protect his brainpan. The grousemongrel tried everything it could think of to shake Bob off its back but still Bob was there, holding on like some stubborn parasite. Why, that there grousemongrel even tried climbing straight up a mountain hoping that Bob would fall off but Bob just held on for dear life even as he hung off the creature's back just a flappin' in the breeze!
Eventually the grousemongrel tired and gave in. Cowboy Bob had broken him just like he used to do with the horses back on his daddy's ranch. Well, once the grousemongrel had settled down Cowboy Bob climbed off his back, walked over to his great big head and looked him straight in one of his purple eyes.
Making a New Friend
"Howdy!” Cowboy Bob said doffing his hat. “I'm Cowboy Bob and I sure would like it if you would upright my trailer so I could continue campin'.”
“Well!” Exclaimed the grousemongrel, “it talks!”
When Cowboy Bob heard the grousemongrel speaking perfect English he fell back on his haunches in surprise.
Now I don't know about you, but when monsters talk to me I tend to listen. And that's just what Cowboy Bob did. It wasn't long before Cowboy Bob learned what kind of creature the grousemongrel was and that his name was Henry. Cowboy Bob and Henry became fast friends and Henry even allowed Cowboy Bob back on his back so they could ride back to the campsite where Henry uprighted the trailer and then took Cowboy Bob sightseeing.
As it turned out, Cowboy Bob enjoyed a lot of fishing on that trip and he met a lot of new life forms. But he never did forget how he held on for dear life and ended up with a new friend named Henry!
THE END